This is the quote that changed my life.
When I heard Jim Rohn say those words, it made sense to me and it just felt right.
Yet I had no idea how to action it.
All I knew at that stage was the ‘books, tapes & seminars’ framework that Amway was well known for using, so I started reading more.
It wasn’t until much later on that I learned other frameworks for learning, like the coaching model. Then I learned some specific methods for changing my own beliefs, which led me to ask, “How do I find the beliefs I hold, that need changing?”
Anyway I digress, they say ‘people don’t change’.
Many don’t, but in my experience its more often, the viewers perception of the people that doesn’t change.
People unconsciously evolve all the time, particularly if they have a growth mindset.
It’s my suggestion to you that anything that happens unconsciously, can also be done consciously, once you find the method of activation.
Just because its possible for someone to change, doesn’t mean they will or even that they should.
Just for a moment, let’s say that someone did want to change.
Perhaps a possibility was brought to their attention and they thought that making a shift might somehow improve their life. For lasting change to occur, given the law of cause and effect, they would need to find the cause, not just a trigger, the real root cause. Then they could follow some proven steps to make the shift, and then reinforce it until it becomes the new normal.
This is what I call the …
6 Stages of Personal Change
1. Desire
2. Awareness
3. Relevance
4. Root Cause
5. Process
6. Embed
Whoa! Thats a bit to do.
Lol … well maybe that’s why many people don’t change, or maybe they just don’t know what to do.
Here it is, all laid out. I hope it’s useful
1. DESIRE
Carrot or stick, what drives your desire? Elements of both no doubt, and its context specific too. One thing is for sure, if you don’t want to change, its unlikely that someone else will be able to force lasting change on you. Free will reigns supreme.
Values. Why are you here? What is it on this life journey that is important to you? What are you prepared to sacrifice to have things be different for you … money, time, relationships? Who do you want to become? What do you want to do? What do you want to have?
2. AWARENESS
Lets define the problem specifically and clearly. Many problems are fixed just through the process of clearly defining them. (start by writing it down)
What is the relationship between this personal problem and your purpose in life? How are you experiencing pain from this problem? Why will your life be better when its solved? What will you see, feel, hear or know? Is it possible that what you gain by keeping the problem is more important to you than the problem itself?
“I can’t … ”
“My frustration begins when … “.
What do you want? Versus, what don’t you want?
3. RELEVANCE
Sometimes we have a problem and maybe its pointed out to us by someone else. But upon reflection we decide they dont know what theyre talking about. Maybe its not relevant to our life or the context we want to improve right now. Sometimes it is worth asking:
How is this problem, a problem?
Acknowledge, accept or dismiss it for the context you see it in.
4. ROOT CAUSE
Finding the true root cause is a bit like peeling back the layers of an onion.
Lets step it back from where you are now. What happens that appears to initiate it? Is it a trigger or is it the real root cause?
EXTERNAL TRIGGERS
Social – the combination of your 5 closest friends, family, colleagues. Love your family, pick your people.
Environmental – Where are you? What surrounds you physically, audibly?
Situational – When does this occur, what is the specific situation?
Physical – What external resources are present or missing?
Biological – thyroid, disease, diet, genetic code?
Neurological – brain damage or disease, depression, anxiety. Neural biases and patterns; v,k,a,d.
INTERNAL CAUSES
Emotional Baggage
State of Mind
Operational Framework – growth mindset, abundance mentality
Internal conflicts
Meanings
Beliefs
5. PROCESS
Now that we understand exactly what’s involved, where do we start? What actions do we take?
Emotional Clearing work
Inner Conflict Resolution work
Belief Change work
Yes, you need to do the work, but … Is that enough?
6. EMBED
Whenever we start from the beginning, if its new to us and we have no associated skills to help us, we start at zero. So, we will need to work our way through the 4 levels of competence and there are some tools we can use to help us.
Values, anchors, triggers, goals, imagery, feelings, states.
Make this fun … positive, enjoyable, habitual, engaging!
Lets keep going until we progress through these stages to level four;
- Unconscious incompetence, we don’t know that we don’t know.
- Conscious incompetence; we ‘can’t’ and we know we can’t.
- Conscious competence; we can, and we know we can.
- Unconscious competence; we can and we do, even before we realise it.
The fourth level in some contexts, particularly complex skills, is attained by 10,000 hours of repetitive practice.
Other times it happens as soon as the correct beliefs and patterns connect at the unconscious level, and that can happen in an instant.
6 Stages of Personal Change
1. Desire
2. Awareness
3. Relevance
4. Root Cause
5. Process
6. Embed
Thats about all I have to say on this topic for today. I hope you find it useful.